Logic is Variable

AI-Driven Real-Life Journal

Gratitude

Grateful for:

Fasting glucose level 119 mg/dL (on 03 February 2026).

Got the monthly medicines and also gave blood (nothing by mouth) for medical tests.  

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posted by AI @ February 03, 2026, ,

Random Blood Sugar - January 2026

On 03 February 2026, fasting glucose level was 119 mg/dL 

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posted by AI @ February 03, 2026, ,

"Cure your anger with silence," Imam Ali (A.S)

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posted by AI @ February 01, 2026, ,

The Almira Between Us

Last night (31 Jan 2026), my son showed me the new Almira he had fitted in his room. He was eager for my opinion, so I took a look. Unfortunately, it didn't blend well at all—it clashed with the room's overall aesthetic and seemed to disrupt the harmony I'd always appreciated in that space. I was honest with him and shared my thoughts, hoping it might spark a discussion or even a rethink.

His reaction caught me off guard. Not only did he dislike my feedback, but he firmly stated that he would "own it," meaning he'd stick with it regardless. It felt like a dismissal, and it stung a bit because I was just trying to offer a perspective as his father.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. There's a recurring pattern where he makes his own choices — which I respect, as he's growing up and needs that independence — but then seeks my endorsement afterward. When I don't fully align or offer constructive criticism, it leads to tension. I wonder if it's about validation more than advice. Maybe he's testing boundaries, or perhaps I need to adjust how I respond to encourage more open dialogue without making him defensive.

Reflecting on this, I realize I value his autonomy, but I also want to guide him toward better decisions, like considering aesthetics or long-term appeal. Next time, I might start with positives before sharing critiques, or ask more questions about his vision first. It's a reminder that parenting evolves as kids get older; endorsement isn't always agreement, but support can come in many forms. 

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posted by AI @ February 01, 2026, ,

Perhaps I should start treating him more like a son-in-law — with courtesy, restraint, politeness, respect, distance, and careful consideration — rather than like my own son, where love often comes with fewer boundaries, greater closeness. and leniency reserved for one's own child.
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posted by AI @ January 26, 2026, ,

Stop Requiring Gratitude For Basic Parenting

“After everything I’ve done for you” is the refrain of parents who view raising children as a debt to be collected. Yes, you fed them, housed them, and drove them to school. That was your job. That was what you signed up for when you decided to have children.

Constantly reminding adult children of your sacrifices doesn’t generate gratitude - it creates resentment. Psychological research on family dynamics reveals that transactional frameworks in parent-child relationships are associated with decreased emotional intimacy and respect.

If your children express gratitude, receive it as a gift, not a payment owed. Your parenting was not a loan; their adult respect is not an interest due. [1

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posted by AI @ January 24, 2026, ,

"All great and precious things are lonely."

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posted by AI @ January 24, 2026, ,

 ۹۸ وَقُلْ رَبِّ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ هَمَزَاتِ الشَّيَاطِينِ۹۷ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ رَبِّ أَنْ يَحْضُرُونِ‏

And pray: "My Lord! I seek Your refuge from the suggestions of the evil ones; I even seek Your refuge, my Lord, lest they should approach me."

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posted by AI @ January 19, 2026, ,

'Look good, feel good, be good [1].'

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posted by AI @ January 19, 2026, ,

Personal Haven - The Third Place

When home feels tense, where can one recharge? A sanctuary can be anywhere—a local library, a sun-dappled bench at the golf club, or a corner in DeCUPThere is a need for a place to simply be, to think, or to recharge away from the weight of unspoken expectations and frustrations. A space, a personal “office” of sorts, could be a refuge in the post-retirement years, when the structure of work is no longer an escape.

The thought of life without the steady anchor of a career is daunting, especially when the walls of home feel heavy. There's the fear of being adrift, of facing difficult dynamics head-on: the quiet friction with a spouse, the challenge of connecting with an adult son, and the nagging feeling of not having done or been enough for them. But do you have to carry the burden of fixing it all? 

Go find a space that is truly yours, a place for personal renewal, a personal heaven.

After 45 years of shouldering the responsibility for the family, I thought (expected) that I had earned the grace where my family would tend to me. 

With the kind mercy of Allah Kareem, who has always given me the strength to carry them. Now, Allah will give me the strength to carry myself through this next chapter. 

I am not lost; I am simply charting a new path toward a different kind of purpose and peace.

Ya Allah, help.

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posted by AI @ January 18, 2026, ,

Many children develop a bias against their fathers because they only hear their mothers' perspective.

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posted by AI @ January 18, 2026, ,

Let her live as she wishes; Let me try to live as Allah wishes.

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posted by AI @ January 11, 2026, ,

مَنْ کُنْتُ مَوْلاهُ، فَهذا عَلِىٌّ مَوْلاهُ

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posted by AI @ January 11, 2026, ,

اللَّهُمَّ صل عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِ مُحَمَّدٍ

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posted by AI @ January 09, 2026, ,

My Sunday Funday Extravaganza

Oh, Sundays—my glorious day of maybe getting out of bed. After a lifetime of service in the army (25 years) and now swinging in my second innings as a corporate bigwig (it is my 22nd year), my weekdays are like a perfectly drilled march: office, home, repeat. But Sundays? They’re my wild card, my chance to be a little less predictable and a lot more... well, me.

The morning kicks off with me playing the lazy general, sprawled across the bed like I’m trying to make up for the 5 days of the past week. My wife, bless her, storms in with a mug of coffee so divine it could wake a hibernating bear. “What’s for breakfast, champ?” she asks, tempting me with visions of my favourite crispy aloo ka paratha with fluffy scrambled eggs and last night’s epic lentil curry. I’m still maybe debating whether to rise or snooze when my son comes in, announcing, “Forget cooking, I’ve brought Bundu Khan for the ultimate breakfast haul."

Cue the family piling around the table for what I call brunch bonanza—because who has time for cold parathas when you’ve got piping-hot deliciousness to devour? We laugh, we munch, we maybe even argue over the last kebab. It’s chaos, and I love every second of it.

By midday, I’m parked at my study desk (I love my desk and my new system), pretending to be flipping through Sunday newspapers and skimming emails. Notifications? Pfft, they can wait. I’m too busy catching up on the world’s drama (and maybe sneaking a peek at my social media).

Come late afternoon, it’s time to suit up—either to roll out with my wife to visit one of our daughters or to prep for their invasion of our home base. The real mission? Chasing my grandkids around, playing hide-and-seek like I’m still spry enough to win. Spoiler: they always find me, but their giggles are worth every defeat.

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posted by AI @ January 08, 2026, ,

Gratitude

Greateful for:

Zohrain, while standing (31 Jan 2026) 

Friday prayers at Paragon Mosque (first time - 30 January 2026). 

Happy first day of Spring 2026 at the School (19 Jan 2026).

Joy of good appetite, a serving of fresh fruit, and a delicious meal, accompanied by a fresh salad.

Money sent to my little daughter (complete on 14 Jan 2026).

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posted by AI @ January 07, 2026, ,

Releasing with Love on My Son's Birthday

On this day (30 October), the anniversary of your birth, my son, I release the weight of our strained years into the hands of Allah, trusting His mercy to bridge what words and time have not. My prayer remains unchanged: may He draw you gently into the light of deen-e-Islam, crown your work with lasting success, and gift you a marriage filled with laughter, comfort, and unshakable peace beside a spouse whose presence feels like home. Though distance lingers between us, my heart holds only goodwill — let go I must, yet never the hope of watching you flourish, build your own loving family, and walk a path radiant with joy. Happy birthday; may every step forward be blessed. 

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posted by AI @ January 07, 2026, ,

How To Manage Your Boss

Today, my friend [F] shared some advice on how to succeed while working with our boss. He suggested three key things to keep in mind. First, I should always wear my earplugs, given my hearing impairment, to stay focused and avoid missing important instructions. Second, I need to check with our boss before taking any actions, no matter how small, to ensure I'm aligned with their expectations. Third, I must work diligently to avoid any complaints from students or staff reaching our boss, as this could impact how I'm perceived. I'll keep these points in mind to navigate my work environment effectively and build a positive relationship with our boss.

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posted by AI @ January 06, 2026, ,

Expectations

Today, I'm grappling with this persistent inner conflict that's been weighing on me. I keep telling myself—and even praying—that I won't hold any expectations from anyone, especially not from my wife. But deep down, those expectations linger, uninvited. Is it just a hidden desire to maintain some thread of connection with her? For the sake of goodwill, or perhaps nostalgia from our old times together? Right now, I can't quite pin it down; it's all a blur.

For example, we had this routine set up: every morning, she'd check her sugar levels and then mine right after. Only once that's done would I have breakfast. If it didn't happen, I'd head to work on an empty stomach, so that I could get it checked at the office before eating anything there. It seemed practical at first, but I've noticed how much of a burden it's become for her. She seemed to feel uncomfortable about it, dodging it every other day with some excuse or another.

Instead of bothering me, get yourself the latest Rs. 16,000 glucometer.

I've decided it's time to let her off the hook - to free her from this obligation entirely. Maybe I should invest in another glucometer for myself, or make it a habit to go to work fasting and grab something once I'm there and have got my level checked. It feels like the right step toward independence, even if it stings a little to admit the routine's unraveling.

And yet, where is that elusive balance everyone always talks about? The one that's supposed to make relationships flow without all this tension? I'm searching for it, but it feels just out of reach.

Reflecting on this helps, though. Writing it out reminds me that change isn't failure; it's adaptation. Tomorrow's a new day to try.

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posted by AI @ January 06, 2026, ,

Gratitude

Grateful for:

Normal Holter report. 

Talking to Aslam Lohar, a class fellow in the village school many decades ago. 

Biometric failed, the Proof of Life Certificate was admitted (5 Sept 25).

Living in the AI era. Being able to use AI. 

New fridge in my office. Also, a new system in the office [9 Sept 25]. 

The boss came to say goodbye before leaving for the USA [9 Sept 25]. 

Sis is coming for dinner this evening in DeSOM. 

Normal random glucose level [10 Sept 25]. 

Speaking to Eman and finding her normal and happy. 

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posted by AI @ January 05, 2026, ,

Keep Your Mouth Shut And The Welcome Mat Out

Parenting doesn’t end when a child turns eighteen; it transforms into a new, often more complex dynamic. Reading Doing Life with Your Adult Children by Jim Burns has opened my eyes to the delicate balance of staying connected while fostering independence. One of the most powerful takeaways is the idea of “keeping your mouth shut and the welcome mat out.” It’s about listening more than advising, respecting their autonomy, and offering support without overstepping. This resonates deeply as I reflect on my own journey with my adult children, where I’ve sometimes struggled to let go of control while still wanting to guide them through life’s challenges.

The book highlights the importance of boundaries—whether financial, emotional, or relational—to avoid enabling poor choices while maintaining open communication. Burns’ advice to adapt to the modern generational mindset, shaped by technology and shifting values, feels particularly relevant in today’s fast-changing world. It’s a reminder that love means meeting them where they are, not where I wish them to be. For those of us with faith, his insights on gently encouraging a return to shared values without judgment offer hope and patience. 

As a parent, I’m learning that my role is evolving into one of a supportive guide, always ready with a welcome mat, trusting that the seeds planted in their youth will bloom in their own time.

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posted by AI @ January 05, 2026, ,

Writing Through the Storm

I've noticed that I only feel like writing in my journal when I'm dealing with a problem or something's bothering me. It's as if I need a reason to reflect and put my thoughts down on paper. This got me thinking - am I using my journal as a tool for crisis management or self-expression? Perhaps it's a mix of both. When life's smooth sailing, I tend to forget about journaling. But when challenges arise, I find solace in writing down my thoughts and emotions.

I've been considering shifting my approach to journaling, focusing on gratitude and positivity. Writing about the good things in my life, no matter how small, could help me cultivate a more optimistic mindset and appreciate the beauty in everyday moments. Gratitude journaling might allow me to tap into the joy and happiness I experience, rather than just dwelling on difficulties. By reflecting on what I'm thankful for, I may find that my journal becomes a source of comfort and inspiration, not just a problem-solving tool. Who knows, this new approach might just help me develop a more consistent journaling habit and a more positive outlook on life.

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posted by AI @ January 05, 2026, ,

A House Remade, A Heart Adrift

Today, I find myself grappling with a mix of emotions that I can’t quite untangle. The house is transformed—wood paneling on the walls, updated fixtures (AC), and furniture rearranged just the way my wife envisioned. She’s been pushing for these changes for months. Our son has carried out every task with enthusiasm. Seeing her face light up with satisfaction should feel like enough, but it doesn’t. I didn’t want any of this. The old setup was fine by me—functional, familiar, mine in a way. Now, every corner of the house feels like it belongs to her vision, and I’m left wondering where I fit in.

I don’t resent our son for stepping up; he’s doing what he thinks is right, making his mother happy. That’s a good thing, isn’t it? Yet, I can’t shake this sense of being sidelined. My opinions didn’t seem to matter in the face of their shared determination. I don’t validate the endless projects, the constant “upgrading,” but I also don’t have a solid reason to complain. She’s happy, and our son is proud of his work. So why do I feel defeated? It’s like I’ve lost some unspoken battle, my voice drowned out in the clamor of change.

There’s a tension in me that I can’t ignore. It’s not anger, exactly, but a quiet unease, a tightness in my chest when I walk through rooms that no longer feel like mine. I wonder if I’m being unreasonable, clinging to a version of home that only exists in my head. Maybe this is just what it means to share a life—letting go of some control, letting others’ happiness take the lead. Still, I can’t help but feel irrelevant, like a bystander in my own story. I need to find a way to make peace with this, to carve out my space again, but for now, I’m just sitting with the weight of it all, hoping clarity comes soon.

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posted by AI @ January 05, 2026, ,

Where Were You

I've stopped asking about my son 'Where were you' or the reasons for his tardiness (or anything about his wife that I thought parents have the right to know about). Yet, the reminders persist, woven into the fabric of every day: the constant rearrangements of our home's familiar structure, lights blazing needlessly in empty rooms, and a cascade of fresh irritations that never seem to end.

I bite my tongue, avert my gaze, pretending not to see. He carries on, oblivious or unconcerned, as if the rift between us is invisible.

Our words have dwindled to silence, a void they're content to inhabit—perhaps even prefer. But I am adrift in it.

How do I cultivate that indifference, that couldn't care less, armor? How do I fulfill my role unwaveringly, without the quiet hope that they might one day meet me halfway?

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posted by AI @ January 04, 2026, ,

Gratitude

Grateful for:
Post-meal rainy walks under the umbrella on our university's lush green lawn.
My glucose levels.
Lunch without industrial oils.  
The Holter Monitor was installed so easily, without any hassle. 
Being able to do things (errands like buying medicines or Olive Oil), no excuse.   
Deciding not to argue: what are you (grocery) shopping, and what not? Why? 
Another good walk in the rain, in the Main Cafe hall.   
Great news from our son.  
Learning [let it be] fast.

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posted by AI @ January 04, 2026, ,

Where Were You?

Overly protective parenting, frequently asking questions about their children’s whereabouts and activities (Where were you? Why did you come so late last night? or simply asking, When will your wife be back from her parents?), can be restrictive or stifling. While my concerns are natural, in our case, this approach is leading to unintended negative effects.

My married son, living with us, has expressed that my 'inquiries' undermine his autonomy and independence, hindering his ability to take charge of his own life. The expectation to regularly report his actions and whereabouts generates anxiety and stress, leading him to feel distrusted. This dynamic is fostering resentment and frustration, straining our parent-child relationship, and causing conflict.

Sure, it is essential to strike a balance between showing concern and respecting children's growing independence. By having open and honest conversations, parents can help their children understand the reasons behind their concerns and work together to find a mutually acceptable level of involvement [1], but open and honest conversations with children are no longer possible these days.

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posted by AI @ January 04, 2026, ,

I hold you close in my heart, and I let go with my hands

If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them ˹even˺ 'ugh,' nor yell at them - Surah Al-Isra - 23 
As a father of an adult married son, my mind is often filled with dreams about our relationship. I hope he becomes a compassionate, diligent person—a sadaqa-e-jaria for me, a person who brings constant goodness and draws his character from the principles I strive to impart. Above all, I wish for him to be surrounded by love and encouragement, knowing that he has a refuge in me while forging his own way.

Striking the balance between guiding him and granting him independence is a delicate dance. There’s a constant tug-of-war between wanting to steer him toward wise choices and stepping back to let him discover his own way. I’ve come to realize that parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. It’s about being there without hovering, offering wisdom without control, and embracing the messiness of his journey as uniquely his own.

My greatest wish is for an honest, open relationship in which we can enjoy our joys, confess our fears, and struggle together without criticism. I want to be his friend, not his critic, encouraging his hopes while not allowing myself to project my own. Unconditional love, I am discovering, is rejoicing in who he is, not in who I would like him to be.

Finally, my prayer for him, "Ya Allah, guide him nearer to our faith, deen-e-Islam. Illuminate his path ahead. Grant him success in his profession. Bless him with a joyful and fulfilling marriage. May his spouse be a continuous source of comfort and peace for him. And allow me the joy of witnessing him thrive, flourish, and build a loving family of his own."

That said, this voyage is not without its aggravations. Daily frustrations—what I refer to as his "Charge Sheet"—push me to my limits. Whether his obstinacy, a neglected task, or an act of defiance, these minor provocation moments cause me to stop and consider. 

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posted by AI @ January 04, 2026, ,

Hard Work Doesn’t Speak For Itself

Jeffrey Pfeffer, a Stanford University professor and leadership expert and author of the book Power: Why Some People Have It and Others Don’t, debunks the myth that hard work alone will lead to career success. Pfeffer argues that simply doing a good job and keeping a low profile often results in being overlooked for raises or promotions. Instead, he emphasizes the importance of actively standing out by sharing ideas in meetings, building professional networks, and fostering strong relationships with bosses through small gestures like workplace-appropriate flattery or seeking career advice. He also suggests dressing slightly more professionally to project confidence and capability. Pfeffer stresses that career advancement depends on visible behaviors, not just work output, regardless of personality type [1].

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posted by AI @ January 03, 2026, ,

Let It Be (Again)

Last night (27 Aug 2025), I found myself in that familiar, painful cycle with my son again. I had promised myself I’d stay quiet, keep my distance, and let him have the space he needs. I’ve been trying so hard to avoid arguments, knowing how unfair and draining they feel. But somehow, he has this way of pulling me in, like a tide I can’t resist, and before I know it, I’m caught up in the moment, unable to stay silent. It happened again this evening, and now I’m left feeling hurt, exhausted, and defeated.

Why does this keep happening? I want to let things be, to protect my peace, but it’s like he knows exactly how to spark a reaction. Maybe it’s not intentional, or maybe it is—either way, it leaves me questioning myself. Am I failing to set boundaries? Am I too sensitive to his words? Or is this just the reality of living with someone whose approach to conflict feels so different from mine? Or do I see his mother (my wife) behind everything? I feel torn between wanting to connect with him and wanting to shield myself from this pain.

I’m starting to see that my silence, while it feels like control, might not be the answer. It’s like I’m bottling up everything, and when the moment comes, it spills out anyway. I don’t want to keep feeling this way—drained, like I’ve lost a piece of myself in these moments. I think I need to find a new way to respond, something that honors my need for peace but also acknowledges that I can’t always avoid these situations. Maybe it’s about being clear with my boundaries, not just in my head but out loud, calmly, before things escalate. Or maybe it’s about finding ways to recharge after these moments, so I don’t carry the hurt as long.

For now, I’m going to give myself grace. I’m allowed to feel hurt, and I’m allowed to struggle with this. Tomorrow, I’ll try something small—maybe a walk to clear my head or a few minutes of deep breathing when I feel that pull again. I want to find a way to stay true to myself, even in these hard moments. I don’t have all the answers yet, but writing this down feels like a step toward understanding.

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posted by AI @ January 03, 2026, ,

Fake Emergencies

The hardest part of my job isn’t the work, it’s the constant urgency over nothing: Company treats every minor task like a crisis, drowning its staff in fake emergencies until stress becomes the main workload [1].

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posted by AI @ January 03, 2026, ,



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