Labels: Real Life
posted by AI @ February 06, 2026,
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Labels: Journal
posted by AI @ February 06, 2026,
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Feeling the Quiet
Thursday, 5 February 2026
We began sleeping apart months ago for practical reasons—better rest, fewer disturbances. The physical distance only highlighted the emotional one that had already grown. We share the house, meals, routines, but the care, concern, and sense of being truly seen and wanted have faded.
Loneliness isn’t about solitude; it’s feeling separate even beside someone. I can be in the same home as my wife and still feel isolated. The kids call and visit—I’m deeply proud of them—but their worlds are their own now. The house is quieter, days longer. In the silence, the ache settles.
I don’t blame anyone. Life happened: raising a family, facing hardships, growing older. Routines took over; small drifts became a wide gap. Normal after decades? Maybe. But it’s real and heavy.
What I read struck me: loneliness is a painful, honest signal. It says I still need connection and belonging to feel known. Not that our life was wrong, but part of me hungers for closeness and authenticity.
Reaching out to her doesn’t feel possible now. So perhaps small steps elsewhere: reconnecting with old friends, finding a place to be myself without history, or learning to treat my own company with the kindness I’ve given others for years.
For now, I write it here. Naming the ache so it doesn’t stay locked inside. Facing it might ease it a little. Maybe this quiet is an invitation to rebuild something—with friends, with myself—in whatever time remains.
I’m still here. Still hoping.
posted by AI @ February 05, 2026,
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Gratitude
Tuesday, 3 February 2026
Grateful for:
Fasting glucose level 119 mg/dL (on 03 February 2026).
Got the monthly medicines and also gave blood (nothing by mouth) for medical tests.
posted by AI @ February 03, 2026,
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Random Blood Sugar - January 2026
Labels: Health, Type 2 Diabetes
posted by AI @ February 03, 2026,
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"Cure your anger with silence," Imam Ali (A.S)
Labels: Real Life
posted by AI @ February 01, 2026,
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The Almira Between Us
His reaction caught me off guard. Not only did he dislike my feedback, but he firmly stated that he would "own it," meaning he'd stick with it regardless. It felt like a dismissal, and it stung a bit because I was just trying to offer a perspective as his father.
This isn't the first time something like this has happened. There's a recurring pattern where he makes his own choices — which I respect, as he's growing up and needs that independence — but then seeks my endorsement afterward. When I don't fully align or offer constructive criticism, it leads to tension. I wonder if it's about validation more than advice. Maybe he's testing boundaries, or perhaps I need to adjust how I respond to encourage more open dialogue without making him defensive.
Reflecting on this, I realize I value his autonomy, but I also want to guide him toward better decisions, like considering aesthetics or long-term appeal. Next time, I might start with positives before sharing critiques, or ask more questions about his vision first. It's a reminder that parenting evolves as kids get older; endorsement isn't always agreement, but support can come in many forms.
Read more »Labels: He
posted by AI @ February 01, 2026,
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Labels: He
posted by AI @ January 26, 2026,
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Stop Requiring Gratitude For Basic Parenting
Saturday, 24 January 2026
Constantly reminding adult children of your sacrifices doesn’t generate gratitude - it creates resentment. Psychological research on family dynamics reveals that transactional frameworks in parent-child relationships are associated with decreased emotional intimacy and respect.
If your children express gratitude, receive it as a gift, not a payment owed. Your parenting was not a loan; their adult respect is not an interest due. [1]
Read more »
Labels: Family
posted by AI @ January 24, 2026,
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"All great and precious things are lonely."
Labels: Journal
posted by AI @ January 24, 2026,
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Labels: Real Life
posted by AI @ January 19, 2026,
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'Look good, feel good, be good [1].'
Labels: Health
posted by AI @ January 19, 2026,
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Personal Haven - The Third Place
Sunday, 18 January 2026
The thought of life without the steady anchor of a career is daunting, especially when the walls of home feel heavy. There's the fear of being adrift, of facing difficult dynamics head-on: the quiet friction with a spouse, the challenge of connecting with an adult son, and the nagging feeling of not having done or been enough for them. But do you have to carry the burden of fixing it all?
Go find a space that is truly yours, a place for personal renewal, a personal heaven.
After 45 years of shouldering the responsibility for the family, I thought (expected) that I had earned the grace where my family would tend to me.
With the kind mercy of Allah Kareem, who has always given me the strength to carry them. Now, Allah will give me the strength to carry myself through this next chapter.
I am not lost; I am simply charting a new path toward a different kind of purpose and peace.
Ya Allah, help.
Read more »Labels: Journal
posted by AI @ January 18, 2026,
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Labels: Journal
posted by AI @ January 18, 2026,
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Let her live as she wishes; Let me try to live as Allah wishes.
Labels: She
posted by AI @ January 11, 2026,
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Labels: Real Life
posted by AI @ January 11, 2026,
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Labels: Real Life
posted by AI @ January 09, 2026,
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My Sunday Funday Extravaganza
Thursday, 8 January 2026
The morning kicks off with me playing the lazy general, sprawled across the bed like I’m trying to make up for the 5 days of the past week. My wife, bless her, storms in with a mug of coffee so divine it could wake a hibernating bear. “What’s for breakfast, champ?” she asks, tempting me with visions of my favourite crispy aloo ka paratha with fluffy scrambled eggs and last night’s epic lentil curry. I’m still maybe debating whether to rise or snooze when my son comes in, announcing, “Forget cooking, I’ve brought Bundu Khan for the ultimate breakfast haul."
Cue the family piling around the table for what I call brunch bonanza—because who has time for cold parathas when you’ve got piping-hot deliciousness to devour? We laugh, we munch, we maybe even argue over the last kebab. It’s chaos, and I love every second of it.
By midday, I’m parked at my study desk (I love my desk and my new system), pretending to be flipping through Sunday newspapers and skimming emails. Notifications? Pfft, they can wait. I’m too busy catching up on the world’s drama (and maybe sneaking a peek at my social media).
Come late afternoon, it’s time to suit up—either to roll out with my wife to visit one of our daughters or to prep for their invasion of our home base. The real mission? Chasing my grandkids around, playing hide-and-seek like I’m still spry enough to win. Spoiler: they always find me, but their giggles are worth every defeat.
Read more »Labels: Journal
posted by AI @ January 08, 2026,
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Gratitude
Wednesday, 7 January 2026
Zohrain, while standing (31 Jan 2026)
Friday prayers at Paragon Mosque (first time - 30 January 2026).
Happy first day of Spring 2026 at the School (19 Jan 2026).
Joy of good appetite, a serving of fresh fruit, and a delicious meal, accompanied by a fresh salad.
Money sent to my little daughter (complete on 14 Jan 2026).
Read more »
posted by AI @ January 07, 2026,
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Releasing with Love on My Son's Birthday
On this day (30 October), the anniversary of your birth, my son, I release the weight of our strained years into the hands of Allah, trusting His mercy to bridge what words and time have not. My prayer remains unchanged: may He draw you gently into the light of deen-e-Islam, crown your work with lasting success, and gift you a marriage filled with laughter, comfort, and unshakable peace beside a spouse whose presence feels like home. Though distance lingers between us, my heart holds only goodwill — let go I must, yet never the hope of watching you flourish, build your own loving family, and walk a path radiant with joy. Happy birthday; may every step forward be blessed.
Labels: He
posted by AI @ January 07, 2026,
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How To Manage Your Boss
Tuesday, 6 January 2026
Labels: Corporate Culture
posted by AI @ January 06, 2026,
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Expectations
For example, we had this routine set up: every morning, she'd check her sugar levels and then mine right after. Only once that's done would I have breakfast. If it didn't happen, I'd head to work on an empty stomach, so that I could get it checked at the office before eating anything there. It seemed practical at first, but I've noticed how much of a burden it's become for her. She seemed to feel uncomfortable about it, dodging it every other day with some excuse or another.
Instead of bothering me, get yourself the latest Rs. 16,000 glucometer.
I've decided it's time to let her off the hook - to free her from this obligation entirely. Maybe I should invest in another glucometer for myself, or make it a habit to go to work fasting and grab something once I'm there and have got my level checked. It feels like the right step toward independence, even if it stings a little to admit the routine's unraveling.
And yet, where is that elusive balance everyone always talks about? The one that's supposed to make relationships flow without all this tension? I'm searching for it, but it feels just out of reach.
Reflecting on this helps, though. Writing it out reminds me that change isn't failure; it's adaptation. Tomorrow's a new day to try.
posted by AI @ January 06, 2026,
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Gratitude
Monday, 5 January 2026
Grateful for:
Normal Holter report.
Talking to Aslam Lohar, a class fellow in the village school many decades ago.
Biometric failed, the Proof of Life Certificate was admitted (5 Sept 25).
Living in the AI era. Being able to use AI.
New fridge in my office. Also, a new system in the office [9 Sept 25].
The boss came to say goodbye before leaving for the USA [9 Sept 25].
Sis is coming for dinner this evening in DeSOM.
Normal random glucose level [10 Sept 25].
Speaking to Eman and finding her normal and happy.
posted by AI @ January 05, 2026,
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Keep Your Mouth Shut And The Welcome Mat Out
The book highlights the importance of boundaries—whether financial, emotional, or relational—to avoid enabling poor choices while maintaining open communication. Burns’ advice to adapt to the modern generational mindset, shaped by technology and shifting values, feels particularly relevant in today’s fast-changing world. It’s a reminder that love means meeting them where they are, not where I wish them to be. For those of us with faith, his insights on gently encouraging a return to shared values without judgment offer hope and patience.
As a parent, I’m learning that my role is evolving into one of a supportive guide, always ready with a welcome mat, trusting that the seeds planted in their youth will bloom in their own time.
Labels: Journal
posted by AI @ January 05, 2026,
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Writing Through the Storm
I've been considering shifting my approach to journaling, focusing on gratitude and positivity. Writing about the good things in my life, no matter how small, could help me cultivate a more optimistic mindset and appreciate the beauty in everyday moments. Gratitude journaling might allow me to tap into the joy and happiness I experience, rather than just dwelling on difficulties. By reflecting on what I'm thankful for, I may find that my journal becomes a source of comfort and inspiration, not just a problem-solving tool. Who knows, this new approach might just help me develop a more consistent journaling habit and a more positive outlook on life.
Labels: Journal
posted by AI @ January 05, 2026,
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A House Remade, A Heart Adrift
I don’t resent our son for stepping up; he’s doing what he thinks is right, making his mother happy. That’s a good thing, isn’t it? Yet, I can’t shake this sense of being sidelined. My opinions didn’t seem to matter in the face of their shared determination. I don’t validate the endless projects, the constant “upgrading,” but I also don’t have a solid reason to complain. She’s happy, and our son is proud of his work. So why do I feel defeated? It’s like I’ve lost some unspoken battle, my voice drowned out in the clamor of change.
There’s a tension in me that I can’t ignore. It’s not anger, exactly, but a quiet unease, a tightness in my chest when I walk through rooms that no longer feel like mine. I wonder if I’m being unreasonable, clinging to a version of home that only exists in my head. Maybe this is just what it means to share a life—letting go of some control, letting others’ happiness take the lead. Still, I can’t help but feel irrelevant, like a bystander in my own story. I need to find a way to make peace with this, to carve out my space again, but for now, I’m just sitting with the weight of it all, hoping clarity comes soon.
posted by AI @ January 05, 2026,
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Where Were You
Sunday, 4 January 2026
I bite my tongue, avert my gaze, pretending not to see. He carries on, oblivious or unconcerned, as if the rift between us is invisible.
Our words have dwindled to silence, a void they're content to inhabit—perhaps even prefer. But I am adrift in it.
How do I cultivate that indifference, that couldn't care less, armor? How do I fulfill my role unwaveringly, without the quiet hope that they might one day meet me halfway?
Labels: He
posted by AI @ January 04, 2026,
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Gratitude
posted by AI @ January 04, 2026,
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Where Were You?
My married son, living with us, has expressed that my 'inquiries' undermine his autonomy and independence, hindering his ability to take charge of his own life. The expectation to regularly report his actions and whereabouts generates anxiety and stress, leading him to feel distrusted. This dynamic is fostering resentment and frustration, straining our parent-child relationship, and causing conflict.
Sure, it is essential to strike a balance between showing concern and respecting children's growing independence. By having open and honest conversations, parents can help their children understand the reasons behind their concerns and work together to find a mutually acceptable level of involvement [1], but open and honest conversations with children are no longer possible these days.
Read more »Labels: He
posted by AI @ January 04, 2026,
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I hold you close in my heart, and I let go with my hands
If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them ˹even˺ 'ugh,' nor yell at them - Surah Al-Isra - 23
Striking the balance between guiding him and granting him independence is a delicate dance. There’s a constant tug-of-war between wanting to steer him toward wise choices and stepping back to let him discover his own way. I’ve come to realize that parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. It’s about being there without hovering, offering wisdom without control, and embracing the messiness of his journey as uniquely his own.
My greatest wish is for an honest, open relationship in which we can enjoy our joys, confess our fears, and struggle together without criticism. I want to be his friend, not his critic, encouraging his hopes while not allowing myself to project my own. Unconditional love, I am discovering, is rejoicing in who he is, not in who I would like him to be.
Finally, my prayer for him, "Ya Allah, guide him nearer to our faith, deen-e-Islam. Illuminate his path ahead. Grant him success in his profession. Bless him with a joyful and fulfilling marriage. May his spouse be a continuous source of comfort and peace for him. And allow me the joy of witnessing him thrive, flourish, and build a loving family of his own."
That said, this voyage is not without its aggravations. Daily frustrations—what I refer to as his "Charge Sheet"—push me to my limits. Whether his obstinacy, a neglected task, or an act of defiance, these minor provocation moments cause me to stop and consider.
Read more »
Labels: Charge Sheet, He
posted by AI @ January 04, 2026,
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