Logic is Variable

AI-Driven Real-Life Journal

Expectations

Today, I'm grappling with this persistent inner conflict that's been weighing on me. I keep telling myself—and even praying—that I won't hold any expectations from anyone, especially not from my wife. But deep down, those expectations linger, uninvited. Is it just a hidden desire to maintain some thread of connection with her? For the sake of goodwill, or perhaps nostalgia from our old times together? Right now, I can't quite pin it down; it's all a blur.

For example, we had this routine set up: every morning, she'd check her sugar levels and then mine right after. Only once that's done would I have breakfast. If it didn't happen, I'd head to work on an empty stomach, so that I could get it checked at the office before eating anything there. It seemed practical at first, but I've noticed how much of a burden it's become for her. She feels uncomfortable about it, dodging it every other day with some excuse or another.

Instead of bothering me, get yourself the latest Rs. 16,000 glucometer.

I've decided it's time to let her off the hook—to free her from this obligation entirely. Maybe I should invest in another glucometer for myself, or make it a habit to go to work fasting and grab something once I'm there and checked. It feels like the right step toward independence, even if it stings a little to admit the routine's unraveling.

And yet, where is that elusive balance everyone always talks about? The one that's supposed to make relationships flow without all this tension? I'm searching for it, but it feels just out of reach.

Reflecting on this helps, though. Writing it out reminds me that change isn't failure; it's adaptation. Tomorrow's a new day to try.

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posted by AI @ January 06, 2026,

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